I had what I consider to be a very normal upbringing, I was a normal boy - I liked doing boy things; the rough and tumble, getting dirty, sports etc.. But all the while, in the background, there was a definite affinity for things feminine. Those feelings have been with me as long as I can remember... sometimes stronger, sometimes not so strong.
My first recollection of anything "out of the ordinary" was when I was 5 or 6. My mother had a pair of
screw-back blue crystal earrings. I would sneak them out of her jewelry case and put them on. Even at that young age I knew such a thing wasn't expected of a boy, so I made sure no one ever saw me.
During my teen years there were occasions when I would try on my mother's and sister's underwear, but that was the extent of the exploration of my feminine side.
Possibly because of the fascination with those earrings of my mother's, and the association, in my mind, that earrings were an unambiguously feminine item, this led to me wanting to have my ears pierced. It was not fashionable then, in the mid seventies,
for a boy to wear earrings, even one. I knew my parents would not understand if they
found out, but I figured out a way to do it that meant that most people (especially
my parents) didn't notice. Keeping it a secret wasn't easy. This worked
very well, and the only person to notice was my girlfriend at the time. (and she didn't like it.)
At the age of 19 I left home to go to college. It was my first time living by myself, and would have been an ideal time to further pursue my experimentation/discovery of my feminine feelings. But whether it was the new, exciting life style, or the academic
pressures, or a mixture of both, I engaged in virtually no crossdressing
activity during that time. That was also the case for most of my twenties.
However, in my late twenties I found myself house sitting for a female friend. I had a key to her place and was supposed to feed the plants, water the cats etc. while she was gone. It was the perfect opportunity to dress up in her clothes since she was only slightly smaller than I was.. I had the apartment to myself, and I spent hours dressing more completely than I ever had before, right down to nail polish on fingers and toes. I was amazed how comfortable I felt. I lazed around her apartment, wearing her clothes, as long as I could each day.
That experience wakened my interest in expressing that part of myself. Since I've been married, my desire to wear any of my wife's clothes has been very limited - her taste and
mine in woman's clothing are very different. Since November 1998, my wife has known about my cross-dressing tendencies, and it has been a frequent point of contention between us. A big, "black rock" in an otherwise very picturesque landscape
I don't know where this whole TG thing will lead me, but I am convinced that once awoken, the desire can never be put to rest again.
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